Let me start by saying this is not the post I was prepared to publish today. Pommes Anna was the post I was going share today. However, as I guess you can imagine (because so many of you are just like me) I am known as the goat lady….the chicken lady….those are children. I think it’s sweet and cute. I rather like it.
I have over the years however, come across more than a few woman who seem to judge me harshly for the way I live my life and raise my kids. Usually, I ignore them as who cares what other people think….(to a point). However, people have come to know me…not because I am special or anything like that but because I am so very different. Now please realize that by regular standards I am different. I do realize it. What I didn’t realize was that so many think I am different in a negative way.
I am being told that my dedication to home-keeping is a waste of time. That I am setting woman back 50 years….I’m being asked questions like “don’t you just get bored?” Don’t you miss “actual” stimulation from the “real” world? Why do I feel I need to be my husband’s slave? My favorite though is “why don’t I just get a hobby?”
I am told that by spending so much time on the care of my family I am being a mother hen…that my kids will never find a way to be independent….I am told that by cooking dinner for my family every night I am being silly because food can be purchased and then I would have time for myself to I guess “get a hobby”.
I am a very nice person (mostly). I mean I do have a very sarcastic sense of humor but it’s truly all in good fun and I share it only with my close friends and family. Who know they mean more to me than my own life. Now….I have heard about all of this kind of thing that I can take. I found myself today really angry. So I finally responded instead of excusing myself and walking away. I said that I look after my family with the dedication that I do because I can’t for a moment think of anywhere else I would rather be. I am confident that while you may think me a mother hen, my children will leave my home someday with all the skills they need to be completely self-sufficient people. Even at the ages that my kids are (10 and 3) they are well aware that instant food is not for “us”. They don’t ask for it….they don’t expect it…it’s not an issue in our home.
Please understand, I have no issue what-so-ever with a woman who works outside her home be it by choice or need. We are free people after all. I have never walked up to a woman and told her she was neglecting her kids by going to work….that freezer section lasagna was not suitable dinner for a child….or any other rude comment I could come up with. Why is it ok to be so judgmental of a stay at home mom but considered rude to treat a working mom the same way? I can tell you that my Mother did not raise me to treat people with such disrespect. I pass that on to my children (ok, I try to…I am mostly successful but three-year olds say the darndest things).
So I have this to say to those who think me and people like me odd: I make all our food from scratch…my children have never eaten a school offered meal in their lives….I fuss over my home….I make soap and candles and all sorts of crafts while my kids are at school….I grow as much of our food as I can on a third of an acre lot in the middle of a city…..I re-create seasons for my kids because where we live seasons don’t really exist…..I am room Mom in both my kids classrooms and volunteer for anything that just needs doing. I walk my kids to the front door of school instead of dropping them off in the car lane (because I so love that last hug before they leave for the day)….I make my husbands favorite foods as often as I can….I try to never forget to surprise him with something special so he will know how important I think he is…..No matter what time Hubby comes home from work (really late on the weekends) I stay awake and as bright-eyed as I can so he doesn’t have to be all alone after his long day. I manage my husbands personal schedule so he never has to worry about doctor appointments or family birthdays (he works hard enough).
I have made this house and the people in it the focus of my life. When I first became a stay at home Mom I struggled to be honest with finding a sense of purpose and fulfillment. There are no bosses to give me a promotion or a raise. There are no awards ceremonies or fancy dinners with colleagues….no conventions no fancy suits. In my case I wore a Chefs uniform but the idea is the same. What I do have HOWEVER, is a home that makes me smile the moment I come back from where ever I’ve been. A place where my kids feel special because I have the chance to be at every single event large or small in their lives.
I have never missed one single thing with my kids…not one. I am able to cook and bake the foods that keep my family happy and healthy with the knowledge that it’s all fresh and as clean as I could get it. Turning our city home into a slice of the country has become my hobby. I do have a hobby. You see my life is my hobby. I get to do things that I think are important all day every day. I get to stop right in the middle of the day with a cup of coffee or tea in my hand and sit in my barnyard surrounded by animals that I love and love me. I get to be there to pick my kids up from school and have them run to me because they missed me and can’t wait to tell me about their day. I get to be available to my husband….my best friend on earth. I have the privilege of making him the king here. Because he rewards my efforts by showing me I am his queen….every single day.
I loved my job when I worked outside our home. I miss it sometimes too. Would I trade what I have to go back to my old life? Not a chance. Maybe I am odd. I am just fine with it. My family is so well. I am truly happy. This place fulfills me. I am in need of nothing more than I have. NOTHING.
I am so sorry for ranting tonight. I just reached my limit and had to get that off my chest. I hope you will forgive me. I would really love to know what you think. I value your opinions….more than you know.
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